A Dungeon of Drabbles
by Ladymage Samiko
Summary: A series of 100word HermioneSnape drabbles, ranging from pure fluff to comedy to angst, from 'K' to 'M'. Current drabble count: 12
1. Trick

_Trick_

-

"Trick or Treat."

Hermione smiled beneath the long-fingered hands that covered her face. It was an old tradition between them. One person would set up two scenarios and then ambush the other. That person would choose one, sight unseen.

Her last 'treat' had involved rose-scented oil and a massage that had left her purring in ecstasy.

Her last 'trick' had involved silk ropes and and application of charmed quills that had left her groaning in frustration.

Severus was becoming impatient. "Trick or Treat?" he repeated irritably. Hermione's smile turned into a grin.

"Trick," she replied.

-

* * *

Inspired by the grangersnape100 'Trick or Treat' challenge.   



	2. American Halloween

_American Halloween_

-

Dumbledore. The Man Who Wouldn't Fucking Die.

And now First through Fourth Years ran around Hogwarts, ridiculously dressed, demanding candy in what Albus called an "American Halloween." Bloody Albus.

Though no-one knocked on _his_ door. Even First Years knew better than _that_.

Maybe not.

Severus swore, ready to hex the simpleton into next year. Flinging open the door, he glared down...

...to be faced with very tempting hips, covered with mere scraps of silk and gauze. He blinked to see Hermione in an almost non-existent harem costume.

"Trick or Treat, Severus," she purred, dangling a knotted rope in her hands.

-

* * *

Inspired by the grangersnape100 'Trick or Treat' challenge. 


	3. On Top of the Tower

_On Top of the Tower_

_- _

"Hermione, do you _really_ think I can kiss you with _that_ looking at me?"

"Guess I shouldn't've carved a Voldemort jack-o'-lantern."

"No. It's like he's back from the dead, leering at me."

"It's gone, Severus."

"Marvelous. Now I've pumpkin all over me."

"So... one bathtub. Come on in."

"Mione...? Gah!"

"Harry, what do _you_ want?"

"_Not_ looking... Um, McGonagall wants a word. S'posed to be at the Halloween Feast, y'know, not the Astronomy tower in the dark."

"Damn. Say I'll be down in... forty minutes."

"Right. Have fun storming the castle."

"Don't be a pain in the arse, Potter."

-

* * *

Written for the grangersnape100 'Ultimate' challenge, which was to include as many prior challenges as possible. Challenges included: Dialogue Only, pumpkin, back from the dead, halloween feast, pain in the arse, caught!, Snape needs a bath, Astronomy tower, movie quote, in the dark, Minerva wants a word, smut, trouble with Harry. 


	4. belief

_belief_

_- _

I - Severus

-

He had his wand to her throat, but she didn't even stop stirring.

"I could've captured you already, if that's what I'd wanted," she pointed out. "I've been here for an hour. Besides, if you use that, you'll have to start running again and it'd be a pity when the soup's almost done."

He slowly lowered his wand. What she'd said was true; he hadn't even heard her enter the tiny room. She could have killed him right then and there if she'd wanted and been perfectly justified when the Aurors came for his corpse.

"Why? How?" he asked simply.

-

* * *

II - Hermione 

-

He'd been dead to the world when she'd picked the lock. It was heartbreaking to see the lean figure almost skeletal, the sword-sharp instincts subsumed under exhaustion. He'd been running too long, too hard.

He'd been forced to.

She poured soup into bowls. "I've always known where you were," she told him as he stared. "I created an Arithmantic tracker when I learned you were a spy. It seemed prudent." She pushed a spoon into his hand and watched him begin to wolf the food down. "As for why..." She hesitated.

"I love you, Severus. And I believe in you."

-

* * *

III - repudio 

He stared, his hand frozen in mid-air. "Impossible."

"Improbable," she corrected, "but not impossible."

Seconds seemed to become hours as they sat across the table from each other. It occurred to him that, in some absurd fashion, this was rather a domestic scene. Perhaps the strain of the past year had truly broken something in his brain. In lieu of giving her an answer, he re-applied himself to the food. It was surprisingly good, better than anything he'd eaten since... then. Or maybe he was just desperate.

Maybe she was, to have gone to these lengths just to find _him_.

-

* * *

IV - assumo 

-

She watched him indulgently, resting her chin on interlaced fingers. He didn't--couldn't--believe her. But give him time. He hadn't had the years it had taken _her_ to come to terms. And he--_they_--had far more important things to deal with.

"I've made arrangements." The silence shattered into fragments. "You can stay at my parents'; no one will think to look for you there."

If he had been anyone else, his jaw would have dropped. As it was, his eyes widened slightly. "Don't be absurd."

"I'm not," she informed him. "I'm in love; that makes me a fool, but not absurd."

-

* * *

V - termino 

-

He snorted. "A fool, then."

The sound of Apparation startled him into movement, but he had lost too much of his edge to react quickly enough. His only impression was of red hair before meaningless words and too-brilliant light.

Odd, he heard _her_ clearly, screaming his name as something collided with him.

His arms were full of her; he felt her jerk and stiffen, saw shock in her eyes. She slumped against him, forcing him to the floor.

Weasley's shocked voice. "What the fuck happened?"

His hand trembled as he brushed hair from her face. "She said she loved me."

-

* * *

Written for the grangersnape100 "Runaway" challenge. 


	5. Courtesy Call

_Courtesy Call_

_- _

Snape dodged and rolled, ending behind the same table Hermione was using for cover. She flicked her wand, trying to disable the woman across the room, who was currently shrieking and firing off hexes with the rapidity of an automatic rifle.

"I _told_ you we shouldn't've come," Severus growled, taking his own turn, which was easily blocked.

"Only thought it polite; we _are_ engaged," Hermione gasped, leaping for a chair as the table exploded into splinters. "How in the hell does she _do_ that?"

"She's my _mother_, Hermione," he replied dryly. "Who in the hell do you think taught _me_?"

-

* * *

Written for the grangersnape100 "Family Visit" challenge. 


	6. Schrödinger's Arrival

_Schrödinger's Arrival_

_- _

"Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

"Why is my stocking _moving_?"

"Oh, bother. I must have forgotten the glamour."

"But why is it moving?"

"Because your Christmas gift can move, of course. Did you think I would simply charm your stocking to wiggle about?"

"I wouldn't put it past you."

"True... Though I wouldn't put it past _you_, either. Pity I didn't think of that sooner."

"Devious acts aside, should I approach my present with caution?"

"I wouldn't throw it across the room if I were you."

"How very informative."

"You _could_ just try looking in it."

"Hmph. Where is the fun in that?"

-

* * *

For the grangersnape100 "What's in the Stocking?" challenge. 


	7. Bob

_Bob_

_- _

Bloody students. Oughta neuter 'em all. Up here all hours; I'd at least like a damned blindfold because it's not like a gargoyle can _leave_.

Damn. Another pair trying to inhale each other. Robes off; boy has a right skinny arse. _She_ seems to like it--leaving claw marks. Good-sized breasts, looks like he's trying to eat _those_, too. Get a room, you perverts!

Oh, I know that expression. Well, least they won't stay long. Right. Part A, Slot B. Oh, my ears! Frantic movement. Merciful Merlin, almost over… Damn! my ears again.

They're leaving now. Fuck!

Um, g'night, Professors Granger-Snape!

-

12/04/06


	8. Penelope

_Penelope_

_- _

She sits, gazing out the window. Her hair has grown quite long now, down to her ankles. He'd always loved her hair, with its rampant, untamable luxury. Glasses perch atop the curls; she'd finally had to admit that years of reading had taken their toll on her sight. Still, she could see well enough without them. She'd recognize his expression the second he stepped into the room.

Her friends, their footsteps unheard, watch her from the open door. "How long's Hermione been waiting?" Ron asks, his voice low.

Harry pauses, calculating. "It's been seventy-three years now, Ron, since Snape disappeared."

-

12/05/06


	9. At Last!

_At Last!_

_- _

Such a marvelous day! Hogwarts had reopened after Voldemort's defeat; the Great Hall was once again filled with chattering children.

Amidst this happy confusion, one man rose from his seat, evoking instant silence. Hermione Granger also stood, her emerald engagement ring ample explanation for her pleased expression and the immanent announcement.

"There is something I wish to say," he intoned, "that I have wanted to say for quite some time." He glanced at Hermione with an interesting smile. "And it is this:

"Fifty bloody points from Slytherin!"

"Thank you." He nodded and swept from the Hall, Hermione at his side.

-

1/16/07

* * *

written for the grangersnape100 '50 points' challenge 


	10. Almost Normal

_Almost Normal  
_

_- _

She watched him fidget before the mirror, pace around the room, rifle through the wardrobe. He fussed and preened, stared and fretted. His nose was too large, eyes too small, mouth too wide, skin too sallow. His hair was impossible, his build skeletal. Black was the only colour he had a prayer of looking decent in. 

He was too old for this. And Merlin knew he needed a drink.

She finally bustled him out the door for his date with Hermione. Alone, Minerva chuckled fondly, declaring to herself, "_I'm going to make a normal boy out of you yet_, Severus."

-

1/31/07

* * *

written for the grangersnape100 "page 197" challenge  
italicized quote from The Ruby Knight by David Eddings 


	11. It's Just Not Quidditch

_It's Just Not Quidditch_

_-  
_

_"The contents of the thermos can be analyzed," _Hermione pointed out.

"True," Severus agreed reluctantly.

"I could take you before the Wizengamot."

"You could try."

"I could hex you six ways from Saturday."

An eyebrow lifted. "Now, do you honestly think you could get the better of me in a duel?"

"Well, probably not," she grudgingly admitted. "But that was both unnecessary and unprincipled, Severus. It's simply not Quidditch to spike your wife's coffee with a lust potion. And damned if I'm going to let you just get away with it!"

"The riding crop's in the closet," he commented mildly.

- 

02/04/07

* * *

written for the grangersnape100 "p. 197" challenge  
italicized quote from Nora Roberts' _Affaire Royale_. 


	12. A Valentine for Snape

_A Valentine for Snape_

_-  
_

He stared at the object on his plate, its deep red just shy of being black.

"What is it, Severus?" Minerva asked, leaning over his shoulder for a better look.

"It's a Valentine," he answered blankly.

Minerva gazed, incredulous, over the rims of her glasses. "Beg pardon?"

"It's a Valentine." Severus' voice held no more belief than it had the first time.

"A Valentine?" Minerva repeated.

"A Valentine," he confirmed.

"From whom?"

"No idea."

"And it's not booby-trapped?"

"Oddly enough, no."

Hermione grinned as she slipped silently out of the Great Hall. She _so_ loved fucking with Snape's mind.

-

02/12/07

* * *

written for the grangersnape100 "anonymous Valentine" challenge 


End file.
